Yesterday I had the honour of conducting a marriage ceremony for an old student/friend and his bride. I’m not really qualified to legally notarize a marriage, so the couple was married the day before in a civil procedure by a judge. However I am sure that the date of yesterday’s ceremony will become the official wedding anniversary. Why? Because when it comes to the true meaning and spirit of a wedding, it’s not the stroke of a pen that is significant, but rather the gathering of people who witness a symbolic union. Part of it is the exchange of rings and the reading of vows, but even more importantly it is the supportive witnessing of the ceremony by friends and family.
This is the nature of ceremony. It goes beyond signing a document or making a simple proclamation. There’s a power in ceremony that comes from something beyond words and straight cognition. Symbolism and ritual go further than words, adding layers of emotion and meaning that penetrate more deeply into consciousness. People can proclaim something and the result is a shallow understanding. Ceremony results in an understanding which is deeper and more long lasting.
Modernism often wants to strip out ceremony and symbolism replacing it with practicality. As a result we’ve forgotten the benefits. This is particularly true of ceremony related to rites of passage. “Primitive” and traditional cultures have had ceremony surrounding rites of passage for children, adolescents, adults and seniors, many of which have been abandon or forgotten. As a result passages through critical stages of life are hollow and aren’t paired with the kinds of symbolic meanings and responsibilities that would permit more authentic transitions. The transition of an adolescent into an adult is too often punctuated only by acquiring a driver’s licence, getting drunk or sexual conquest. There is no other ceremonial rite of passage in normal society to facilitate and elevate this transition. Marriages outside of religious doctrine are often stripped of deeper meaning because alternatives are not easily found. Post modernism has introduced some “New Age” approaches, but this doesn’t sit well with many people.
The value of ceremony is independent of religion or even cultural expectations. It can be spiritual, but only need be so in a general way that touches something deeper in our minds. But it is an important part of our culture of transition and growth that we must reconnect with.
PW's Rants 
How cool is that, that you officiated at a wedding?
This was my third time doing so over the past twenty years. Few and far between, but it comes up occasionally. Always an honour to be asked.